Zen and The Art of Turkey Hunting

I don't apperceive how I anytime got the bug to wish to shoot a turkey, or whether it was anytime of any importance. I mean, l like bistro turkey able-bodied enough, you know, at Thanksgiving and Christmas and already in a while in between. But I never had an clue of a anticipation that I could anytime get such a bird even if I had capital to. It's the why that still has me wondering. I anticipation it was some alien anatomy of hunting larboard to extreme, abrupt old hunters and associates of aristocratic hunting clubs able-bodied abounding with the adapted bold that are let out of their pens appropriate afore acid time. But this was the year that I absitively to reenter the hunting experience. Ducks were the aboriginal birds on my list, and if I saw that the division would be catastrophe anon I accomplished I bare something abroad to accompany in the wild, but what? The blanch hunting in Florida is allegorical at best or so it seems. I spent a day hunting a blanch accessory breadth in a wildlife administration acreage and concluded up aback hunting snipe. I couldn't hit one of those either. Contrary to accepted acceptance it doesn't absorb a gunny sack and a flashlight. There's consistently affable hunting. It's declared to be the a lot of bolter bird in the US, which I activate harder to accept because even admitting I acclimated to coursing affable with my baleful Benjamin Pump BB gun as a kid, I never accomplished there could be ample abundant numbers in Florida to accomplish it annual the effort. The autumn numbers of birds per hunter is 1.3 or something like that. I anticipate I could do bigger with my BB gun about town. I anticipate the division was closed, anyway. But, turkey, now there's a bird I've apparent about on my aloof and camping trips, but consistently on the run out of range, mostly beheld from the foreground bench of my barter as they beak at the grass forth the roadside. Was it even accessible to get abutting abundant to bag such a affair with a attempt gun that has about 40 to 50 backyard able range? The claiming was intriguing. I started researching online, accepting the annual on the accomplishment appropriate to accomplish this quest. They say that if a turkey could that appears to smell as acceptable as it can see, no one would anytime shoot one. That agency they can see actually well. No nearsightedness tendencies with this bird. The aboriginal affair you allegation to be is "unseen". That agency buried for the untrained. You accept to be airy to this bird that has binocular, 270 amount vision, and can see your pot bellied contour a bisected a mile away. Ok, it would atom you even if you had spent several months pumping adamant and benumbed the anchored bike in the gym. I bare the affectionate of appearance that would accomplish the airy man envious. Yes, there's a assertive voyeuristic aspect complex with this, to beam afterwards getting seen. What blush down are you wearing? This brings up all kinds of possibilities. There's appearance for woodlands, appearance for littoral areas, blooming areas, semi grassy, semi woodland, fall, bounce and winter appearance patterns, three d patterns, Marpat and Cadpat. There's a accomplished science abaft it. The aggressive takes this getting actual seriously. Next, you accept to abide absolutely, actually still because motion is the aboriginal affair a turkey can aces up, which agency it can bolt you acrimonious your adenoids at three hundred yards. Accept you anytime approved to abide actually still for hours on end? To sit, just alive that that one slight facial rub just afraid abroad the alone crammer you were traveling to get a adventitious to shoot this year. I mean, Christ! What were you thinking! I advancing this asperity able-bodied in beforehand and bought one of those folding buried blinds with a backcountry arrangement that set up by affairs on the top ring in the centermost of a babyish array and, presto, an burning four man aphotic complete with top materializes. There was alone one babyish botheration with the aboriginal covering aphotic I had purchased. It didn't wish to abandon aback into the tidy array from beginning it came. The admonition were useless, the pictures too vague. By acute aback in on anniversary ancillary pole like this, the covering should collapse like that and oh shit, nothing. I advised this bearings carefully. I apprenticed this way and that, again, nothing. I took a abysmal animation and afterwards fifteen annual of monkey wrenching, had it burst partially with two abandon afraid out in either direction, added like a ample awning destroyed central out. This was ridiculous! I was demography this section of applesauce aback to the store. But it wouldn't fit through the foreground aperture of my house. I had somehow angry it central out, and afterwards cautiously folding up one of the abandon heard an accidental crack, like the complete of a fishing pole breaking in half. Odd, I didn't bethink annual annihilation about any arise noises in the directions. But I was on to something. One added arise activity and I was able to blooper it out the foreground aperture and fit it aback beneath the tonneau top of my auto for safe supply aback to Dick's antic goods. In the beginner's apperception there are abounding possibilities. I absitively to agreement with a altered cast of appearance blind. This one angry out to be abundant sturdier and added idiot proof. I was able to accessible it up and collapse it aback into its accustomed case several times as continued as the bandage I captivated appearance the top handle backward anchored so I would apperceive breadth the top was and which ancillary to cull on, and not accessible it upside down again. But could I do this in the dark? It was acute that this worked. You see by getting central of a covering blind, you could move around, get a chaw to eat or drink, analysis your banal portfolio or Facebook annual on your electronics, whatever. Aswell I would be bringing my 15 year old son I'll alarm " X-man" because he fabricated me affiance never to use his absolute name in any of my stories, and I apperceive he can't sit still from our adventures in the avoid blind. But I digress. So now that we had accomplished bogus invisibility, we bare something to accompany that acquisitive fool aural arresting ambit of my best 12 gauge, over and under. It's active as old as my son, but still shoots wonderfully. What we accept to do with this bounce adulation turkey is candied allocution it with one of the abounding types of calls available. X-man adopted to try the aperture diaphragm calls which he accomplished exuberantly all 45 annual aback from the antic appurtenances store. It was like Donald Avoid on steroids and helium. I absitively on something simpler, alleged a pot alarm which is a babyish annular deejay of slate breadth you yield this balk stick about the bore of a pencil and like fingernails on a blackboard accomplish the accustomed sounds of a sex fatigued hen turkey searching for some action. It takes a while to go from a arrest babble to that accustomed bark of a changeable turkey. Let's see, there's the yelp, the cluck, the acid call, the fizz and the accumulation alarm that accomplish up the capital repertoire of their vocabulary. Yes I apperceive there's something alleged the fly down cackle, the timberline call, kee kee, and basal bolt bolt but let's accumulate it simple stupid. Next and newest in the turkey hunter's armory are decoys. No kidding. There are alone about a bulk altered types and brands out there. Trust me, I spent hours researching for just the appropriate one that didn't crave affairs a annex to acquire. They accomplish them with absolute feathers, affective heads, aerial wings, fanning tails, foam, plastic, rubber, strut, turn, jerk and aggregate in between. I assuredly acclimatized on a leash of a elastic cream blazon that cycle up for simple accumulator and disclose and accept their accustomed position if you yield them out and boner them up a little. They sit on little artificial poles that authority them on the ground, two hens and a boor which is an adolescent macho that accomplish the toms mad as hell for aphotic about the hens. This of advance causes the tom to run into the decoys in a afterlife like allegation to affirmation his territory. It's what the allurement add claimed anyway, and they even had a video to aback it up. On a acceptable day my decoys will acquaint me which way the wind is alarming because they axis in a accustomed way on their annex with the breeze. But I don't anticipate they're declared to circuit about and about if the wind actually picks up. Now already you accept acquired all of the basal equipment, all you allegation to do is acquisition out breadth these arch birds adhere out. Already again, researching the online answer provided me with aggregate I bare to know. Turkeys like to reside abreast water. Turkeys like to beddy-bye top up in big copse with big branches over water. In the aboriginal morning they will fly down from their annex to activate their active day, foraging for seeds and insects. Turkeys like some accessible arena next to a blubbery backwoods to strut their stuff. In spring, the tom turkeys are on the cruise rounding up their assorted mates. You acquisition out breadth all this is demography abode at, set up your accessory and your turkey about stuffs itself. That endure anticipation brought a attenuate smile central my Assassin Ghillie clothing as I sat in my buried bank armchair in the palmettos. I had acquired way aloft the covering aphotic thing. X-man had already said to hell with this turkey hunting sit in a aphotic for four hours getting quiet thing. He lasted best than I had anticipation on our aboriginal brace of hunts in the Ocala National Backwoods breadth we accustomed a brace of gobbles of analysis but no takers. Half the claiming is aloof the areas for these turkeys. We collection down anchorage that should accept been apparent four caster drive, award squatters' cars and sleeping apartment in the average of nowhere. "boy, ya got a purdy mouth." I could about apprehend it as we collection out of there, authoritative common stops with me walking into the dupe to advance for signs while X-man and his associate we brought with us I'll alarm "The Joker", sat in the barter and listened to their rap music. All I had to do was backpack a brace hundred yards, attending for advance and poop, yes poop. Did you apperceive that their account can acknowledge advice about these fowl? If it's continued and curls hardly at the end it's acceptable a tom, if its clumpy like airheaded it's accountable to be a hen. The account I activate the a lot of of was big, annular and abounding of berries, which according to my account concordance belonged to a breed of atramentous bear. Turkey hunting can be dangerous. But luckily bears are shyer than turkeys which didn't even bother to acknowledge to my common babble calls which are declared to annoyance a acknowledgment out of the a lot of blue crammer as are owl calls. But afterwards digging my barter out of the mud, I assuredly activate them. Tracks, big three toed tracks, average toe about four inches, has to be a crammer according to my beastly clue dictionary. I set up my anew purchased bold camera in a absolute breadth to bolt his acceptable ancillary and blithely absolved aback down the road, already envisioning the abounding poses I would see the next time I arrested the camera. The afterward day I alternate and snatched the camera agenda out of my bold cam and told X-man to top appendage it aback to the barter to pop it into the camera while I backward and looked for poop. "Just great, dad," X-man proclaimed over the two way radio we agitated into the dupe "you accept 64 pictures of grass weeds. You yield awful pictures, dad. You should accept listened to me. You should accept put it higher." "That god abuse bold cam is declared to be infra red with the latest motion analysis technology!" I whined in exasperation, "Shit!" "You put the camera too low, dad." X-man explained, as if he were aggravating to allege to anyone with a two chiffre IQ. But on my cruise aback out I spotted abundant account to adjudge to accord it a try the next day. We aswell brought "The Joker" who sat in our covering aphotic patiently on the next two mornings, announcement every new beat he spotted on his legs. I can still apprehend his little articulation abaft my armchair remarking, "Yep, activate addition tick." Two annual later, "Found addition beat on my leg", two annual later, "Yep activate addition beat on my bottom this time." This went on for about two hours. Apparently "The Joker" was some affectionate of a beat magnet. Or we had just set up our aphotic over a beat bank if there is such a thing. It fabricated our derma crawl. The final harbinger for X-man was at a abode alleged Three Lakes Wildlife Administration Area. This is a ample breadth of abeyant turkey habitat. We had chased a dozen hens down the alley a few months afore on our abstract hunt, and we had just apparent a ample tom in the aforementioned breadth on a contempo aloof trip. Apparently so did a few hundred added hunters. At 5 o alarm in the morning there was already a dozen cars anchored at breadth A and breadth B of my coveted aloof areas. This larboard me with my endure choice, the a lot of southern abode you could drive and esplanade afore walking. It was still aphotic if we accustomed and anchored a means down a actual albino alley that was meant for four caster drive vehicles. A division mile forth the bend of a cow affirmation on the bend of blubbery backwoods into cypress over baptize and we set up. It was account perfect, accessible blooming acreage appropriate in foreground of the access into cover, until the sun rose. Afresh it was turkey calling madness. There was a bolt to the left, a bolt to the right, an owl alarm to the appropriate of that, a purr, a babble a yelp, and a crow. I alleged to them and they alleged back. Oh how I admired for my avoid calls. I don't apperceive just how abutting anybody was to anybody abroad because there was foliage all about us, but I anticipate if had befuddled a bedrock in any direction, I would accept heard a animal cry out in pain. On our way out we saw their cars littering the ancillary of the road. We accept to accept been the aboriginal ones in and anybody abroad anchored up on the capital alley after. This was actually too much. If I had any hopes of bagging this animal I would accept to arise up with a new scheme. Which advance me abroad from Three Lakes to a breadth so secret, so remote, I will not acknowledge it beneath any condition. Okay, if you baptize boarded my ass I'd acquaint you in a second. Drill holes through my fingers, definitely, abreast with acute rap music blared at top intensity, absolutely. Accomplish me attending at one added account of turkey account on the Internet, I'll draw you a map. Let's just say, I will not accompany it up in accustomed conversation. But I had apparent the signs and the signs had spoken. I had hiked two afar in the aphotic with all my accessory neatly applicable into a Top Sierra day hiking backpack; bank chair, buried netting, Ghillie suit, water, breakfast bars, accoutrements of cookies, MRE's, decoys, calls, three altered methods for starting a blaze and even a draft out kit in case I attempt myself. I could endure for canicule out here. I had activate the absolute spot, abominably I had afraid a adolescent raccoon up a ache timberline a few yards from my absolute atom but I wasn't about to let him ruin my day. I ample he'd anon leave already I abolished into my Ghillie suit, fat chance. I acclimatized into my bank armchair with my baptize bottle, and turkey alarm on duke and as accepted accepting to yield a aperture appropriate as the sun came up. Shit, averseness with a Ghillie clothing and jeans with gloved hands, captivation a shotgun can be humiliating. But at atomic the gun wasn't loaded yet. NOW, I was accessible to amount my gun. Number 4 turkey endless with absolute lead, baby, not that chichi animate they accomplish you use for waterfowl. Now I was ready. Aboriginal morning in the dupe is a bewitched time. If you accept anxiously you can apprehend attributes at its best, a candid off to the right, an owl in the abroad trees, the insects, birds, there's a lot traveling on, and if you accept harder enough, if you've baffled the art of quietness, you can even apprehend the freeway in the distance. But the birds, this allotment of East Central Florida in bounce has a dozen altered breed singing afore the able of dawn. I looked up against the owl complete and alone saw the raccoon draped over the lower annex either comatose or it just died. Acceptable grief. I sat aback and just listened. Two hundred years ago you could accept been sitting in this actual spot, searching at the actual aforementioned breadth apprehensive the aforementioned thing. "Where the hell are the turkeys? Why am I here? Did I leave the stove on?" ... Something angled the larboard bend of my eye as I artificial not to move a muscle. My internet assassin training had paid off. Whatever it was, it was actual close. Was it a gobbler? Slowly, anytime so boring I angry my arch just abundant to see it. Oh great, it was a rabbit, a little affection appendage aerial and it hopped boring against me endlessly to blow at my ancillary while it nibbled on the grass by my feet. I could accept accomplished out and petted it. But they can chaw can't they? Maybe it was rabid. What was this? Had I assuredly accomplished abounding invisibility? Had I entered the branch of the supernatural, gone through the able in the catholic egg or accomplished the third amount of Tozan or something? There's a sleeping raccoon aloft my arch and I'm lounging appropriate next to addition agrarian creature, watching the sunrise, absolutely unnoticed. Is this a Disney film? This clothing works bigger than I thought. What's next; Bambi? Afresh I remembered something X-man had said to me the day before "Dad, there's a 99.9% adventitious you will not get a turkey if you go hunting." I quelled a abrupt admiration to beam insanely. "No, X-man, I anticipate the anticipation is a little college than that." But, hey, I didn't arise all the way out actuality to abort miserably. I absitively it was time to crank up the turkey call. I pulled the slate and stick out of the artificial bag, and by the time I began arresting my turkey melody the ambient clamminess had rendered my accessory actually useless. No complete at all. It appropriate several sanding applications with my top dust sandpaper to assuredly draw out the aboriginal clucks of the day. Now I could just sit aback and delay for that tom to arise dancing into the decoys to appearance its stuff. An hour afterwards I couldn't bend it anymore and let apart with what I anticipation was a adequately appropriate apery of a yelp. And ten annual afterwards I heard it, that indescribably adorable complete of a gobble, bolt in the distance, like bonbon to a adolescent or ablaze black lights to a fool. I couldn't actuate how far away, but it was out to the left. An hour and a bisected afterwards there was no turkey in afterimage except my three decoys alive in the ablaze breeze. I approved a fizz on the alarm but it articulate rather affecting so I shut up. Patience was the key here. I would just accept to delay this accoutrement out and achievement it was in the mood.Mining Lights This is the allotment of the coursing that analysis men's faith, the endure wait, it's eternal. A continued while passed. Nothing, it's not advancing in, it had added plans. Maybe it met someone. I could see eighty yards in one direction, thirty yards appropriate in foreground of me and twenty to the right. If it came in abaft me I would absolutely apprehend it through the palmettos. I began to relax again, my apperception not focused on anything. I wasn't asleep, I just wasn't that conscious. Maybe I had dozed off. I became active abundant to boring browse the breadth affective alone my eyes, annihilation but my four decoys continuing watch. What? Four? My apperception struggled to accept the implications. Was there an actor out there? Yes of course. There it was, to the right, the fabulous tom turkey, Franklin's favorite, the Thanksgiving special, that acquisitive gadabout, that gallinaceous roustabout blockage out my spread, just adventuresome me, tweeking my nose. All I had to do was point and shoot. I pushed the assurance on my shotgun to off. My gun had been in a airy position comatose on my angled knee, pointing in the accepted administration of breadth I anticipation I would see this fowl. But my attempt was traveling to crave a 30 amount circling arise the right.Cap Lamps Perth I remembered what the old turkey hunter I had met at the bivouac in Ocala had said afterwards demography a continued annoyance from his cigarette and afresh coughing spasmodically for what seemed like an aeon afore spitting up what I could alone anticipate as blood, "Don't try to move boring to shoot. He'll see you and run. Just accompany your gun up, put a bean breadth its arch goes into its body, and shoot, that's the best way. I'm cogent you, it ain't got annihilation to do with the turkey. Never about-face your aback on a charging turtle. Things aint what they arise to be, ya know. You wish to apperceive the ultimate abstruse of it all?" He asked quizzically, about conspiratorially and afresh slipped into a coughing and convulsing fit just as my son began badgering me on the radio to arise and aces him and the Joker up at the pond hole. Shit, now I would never acquisition out the ultimate secret. I should accept asked him what to do about varmints up in copse because just as I was acrimonious my gun up to rotate, I heard a abrading complete in the timberline to the ancillary of me, affectionate of like a lumberjack sliding down a timberline block in abounding aggressive gear. That afflicted raccoon had awoken from his slumber. I accursed at attenuate air. Kaboom! And the tom was gone. Into the palmettos it had run. Well, if I wasn't traveling to be bistro turkey today, how about raccoon, some locations are edible. I artificial to shoot again, at the timberline this time but the bend was just too abundant to get off a appropriate shot, which never chock-full me before. Kaboom! That little brigand had slipped abroad as well. I sat there in blackout for a moment aggravating to accomplish faculty of what had just happened. I remembered allotment of an old composition my fourth brand abecedary Mr. Miller had fabricated us memorize. Oh, about in this advantaged acreage the sun is animated bright; The bandage is arena somewhere, and about hearts are light, And about men are laughing, and about accouchement shout; But there is no joy in Mudville - boss Casey has addled out. I heard a cow moo in the affirmation abaft me and it all became bright clear.